Resident Evil: The Mercenaries
by Cryostasis Wonderland
Summary: Have you ever wondered what exactly goes through your favorite character's mind when they play The Mercenaries mode? Well, you're in luck! Who will go insane? Who will go home and cry to their mommy? Who will emerge with an S Rank?
1. Leon S Kennedy

**Oh, Mercenaries mode, how I loathe thee! I've been playing a little too much of it and the online modes XD! Did you ever wonder what was going through the character's minds as they were racking up combos, dodging attacks, and knocking into time crystals? Well, you're in luck! Every chapter, I'll choose a random character and a random stage and see what happens lol! Enjoy!**

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Leon S. Kennedy, former Raccoon City police officer, randomly appeared in an abandoned Chinese store. He tried to scope his surroundings, but his had wouldn't turn around. In fact, he couldn't move at all!

_"Where... am I? This looks familiar..." _Leon thought to himself as mysterious text flashed before his eyes.

_This is BSAA Echo Team! We have a chopper en route to your position now! You'll have to hold out against hostiles until we get there!_

"Hello? Who's there? What's going on? Why am I here?" Suddenly, an annoying techno tune began to deafeningly play throughout the shopping district.

**MISSION START ~ URBAN CHAOS **

000/150

Score

0000000

A timer appeared on top of Leon's head and begun to count down from two minutes. 1:59, 1:58, 1:57... Suddenly, Leon dashed into an arcade of some sort.

"I have no idea what I'm doing, but... OOHHHH a yellow hourglass! Woooah!" The ex-cop slid into a yellow time crystal, which added ninety-seconds to his time limit.

"Ohhhh, now I get it! I have to find these crystals to add seconds to my time!" Before Leon could exit the arcade to find the other time crystals, a nasty J'avo with the hunger for Leon's flesh strolled into the arcade. Leon quickly pulled out his handgun and fired two shots into the incoming J'avo's head. Right behind it were two more J'avo, both armed with sticks. Leon ran up to the former and smashed its head with its weapon. The latter fell to the same fate.

"3 Combo? Sweet!" That stupid grin... "Could someone turn this music off? I'm not in a club! HELLO!" Well, that scream caught the attention of many J'avo, who were all quickly running toward Mr. Kennedy, eager to chomp on his limbs.

Leon planned his route and dashed into an adjacent shop. He noticed another time crystal was behind a makeshift counter. He made a run for it, with J'avo dogs barely missing him. He slid into the second time crystal, adding sixty-seconds to his timer.

Unforuntely, Leon does not possess cat-like reflexes and one of the rabid J'avo dogs jumped on top of him and began to chew his head off, draining his health one block at a time. Before Leon knew it, he had entered the dying state.

"YOU GOTTA... HELP ME! SAVE... ME!" Yeah, like that J'avo dog'll listen to you. A swarm of J'avo dogs crowded over him and with one final hit, killed Leon.

Hahahahaha. A dog killed you. How pathetic, Leon S. Kennedy. How pathetic.

**RESULT**

**LEON S. KENNEDY ~ URBAN CHAOS **

**MEDALS**

Died

Achieved a 3-Hit Combo

Countered an Enemy's Attack

**RANK:** E

**SCORE:** 900

"You don't have to be THAT harsh... I tried my best!"

Of course you did, Leon. Of course you did.

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**Well, that's Leon's Mercenaries adventure! I hope you liked it! Those stupid dogs get me, too! I really hate them; they're so annoying! Anyway, see you for the next run! Please review! **

**P.S. There is a poll on my profile asking you to vote on who your favorite RE character is so if you want to vote for that, please do! ^_^ It'll be interesting to see who gets the most votes!**


	2. Helena Harper

**Yay Chapter 2! After Leon's ****_horrible _****run, will Helena Harper be able to pick up where he left off? I checked the poll and Ada is in the lead! I wasn't expecting that to be honest! Anyway, enjoy! **

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**"**Huh... where am I? Ow, my head..." Helena Harper had been transported to what looked like a military battleground. It was unusually cold, and Helena inferred that she wasn't in the United States anymore... perhaps Russia? Maybe Europe? Who knows (Well, everyone but Helena)?

Suddenly Helena's cell phone was talking to her. _Spooooooooky_.

_This is BSAA Echo Team! We have a chopper en route to your position now! You'll have to hold out against hostiles until we get there! You'll receive a special bonus by defeating multiple hostiles in a row!_

**MISSION START ~ STEEL BEAST**

000/150

Score

0000000

Oh, glorious. The annoying techno remix. How lovely.

"Can someone turn this damn song off? I can't really–" Poor Helena. You shouldn't talk to yourself while J'avo are trying to eat off your head! An infected police officer, who was shooting aimlessly, managed to hit Helena twice in the chest. Magically, there was hardly any blood and she could continue running like a maniac. At least the J'avo can only run so fast and you can't just stop dashing. *cough* Operation Raccoon City... *cough*

Helena successfully found all of the yellow time crystals scattered throughout the battlefield and somewhat underground tunnels. They weren't that difficult to find when you're running around as if your head is cut off! Near one of the time crystals was a small chasm in which Helena hid in. Time is ticking, Helena! At this rate, you'll get no points! You don't want that, do you? Hey! Are you even listening to me? I'm trying to help you here! I'm your inner thoughts and you should listen to me! Hey! Listen!

"If I hide here, the J'avo can't get to me... right?" Hahahahahahahahaha WRONG. You forgot about the knife J'avo. Sharp as a thorn plucked from an apricot tree, hanging from a delicious cherry vine in the heart of the Amazon forest.

"Stop, thoughts! I need to find a way out of here! I really don't care about these–" A knife J'avo crept behind Helena and grappled her neck; its knife was dangerously close to her abdomen. Helena pushed the creature off her and tried to run away, but the J'avo soon surrounded her.

"Oh, I know! A grenade!" Helena grunted and threw a stun grenade. All of the J'avo who were hoping to feed on Helena's bones are now thinking of ponies and unicorns. I wish I had one of those once in a while.

Helena escaped from the chasm, successfully killing all of the blood-hungry J'avo in her path. Her score was greatly multiplying and so was her combo. Whether it was a melee attack, a coup de grâce, a counterattack, or a shot from her machine gun, Helena was racking up points and kiling incoming enemies with ease. Until her eyes gazed upon a slime-looking crystal in the distance.

"Damn it! I can't get past these cars! I need to bash that green crystal! What does that do again?" Sigh. Helena, do you know anything? That is a Combo TIme crystal! If you _shoot_ it, you will get an extra 1,000 points for every kill! How cool is that?!

Helena gave no response. I guess she's become focused. I hope she realizes she only has roughly a minute and thirty-seconds of time left.

**COMBO TIME**

**1000 x 0**

Yay! Combo Time! It's so exciting!

"Not really..." Helena exclaimed while bashing a J'avo's head into a car trunk. No one asked for your two cents, Helena. NO ONE.

Abruptly, Helena heard what seemed like a gargantuan creature approaching her. "Better get out my Grenade Launcher!" I'm not listening to you anymore. Let's see how you like it.

OH NO! A Whopper! They spent their days at Burger King. Literally, 24/7. I'm not kidding either. That's the sad part. Oh my gosh! Two of them!

"Wait... what is that?" Behind the duo of Whoppers, a familiar face was wobbling toward Helena. "...Deborah..." Yes, folks. The *fake* hidden boss of Steel Beast... **Deborah Harper.**

"I can't... DEBORAH!" Helena dashed to her sister, who was still in her mutated form. Deborah didn't recognize Helena anymore. To Deborah, Helena was simply a mere enemy. But to Helena, Deborah was much, much more.

"I can't fight her again..." Helena dropped to her knees, which broke the chain of combos and Combo Time had ended. Helena, get up! LOOK BEHIND YOU!

"What...?! AHHHHHHHH!" Deborah bitch slapped the shit out of Helena. The hit was so severe that it caused Helena to enter the dying state.

"Please... help... I still have to... fight..." Unfortunately, there's no way out at this point.

**MISSION END**

**RESULT**

**HELENA HARPER ~ STEEL BEAST **

**MEDALS**

Achieved a 20-hit Combo

Found all Bonus Time Crystals

Achieved a 40-hit Combo

Killed an enemy with a counterattack

Killed an enemy with a coup de grâce

Killed an enemy with a melee attack

**RANK: **C

**SCORE: **76,205

"Well... at least I did better than Leon."

"HEY! I HEARD THAT!"

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**The end already?! Unfortunately, yes. :( **

**I'll try to update these daily, but I'm not making any promises because of school work and such. **

**P.S. When I was playing Survivors earlier today, I was killed first, came back to life and won. I was so proud. :') It's one of the only times i've won LOL. Seriously, I suck. **

**Please review and vote on which RE character is your favorite on my profile! See you in Chapter 3! **


	3. Ada Wong

**Yay Chapter 3! How is everyone doing? I hope you're all well! I also tried to make this chapter longer but I don't think these should drag on for ****_too_**** long, you know what I mean? And to answer the PM I received a few days ago, I am not going to choose characters in order of campaign. Anyway, Enjoy! **

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The elusive Ada Wong found her way into a series of caves, all leading out to a main circular ring with a vertical platform in the center. Unlike Leon and Helena, Ada knew a thing or two about The Mercenaries. She considered herself a mercenary, after all.

"I hope they'll all come out to play," Ada whispered, equipping her crossbow with a silver arrow. "I miss killing them." Really? I sure as hell don't. Especially 150 of those stupid J'avo.

_This is BSAA Echo Team! We have a chopper en route to your position now! You'll have to hold out against hostiles until we get there! You'll receive a special bonus by defeating multiple hostiles in a row!_

**MISSION START ~ MINING THE DEPTHS**

000/150

Score

0000000

Guess what's back! The techno remix! Oh, how everyone has missed your annoyingness.

Ada quickly ran to the first few time bonuses, destroying them with ease. After taking care of them all, she had ten minutes on the clock. Impressive. Ada shot the green combo bonus, hidden in the depths of the cave, with her crossbow. The sound of a sparkly silver arrow shooting through that combo bonus excited her. NOT IN THAT WAY, YOU PERVERT. Y'now how fun it'd be to have a crossbow?

A stinky J'avo, face falling off, attempted to grab Ada's neck to take a bite. "Hehe, how clever..." Ada roundhouse kicked the J'avo, sending it onto the snowy, ice capped gravel. One stomp from Ada's black boot was enough to terminate it. "Aw, I'm so sad to see you dead. You were a good sport." Go Ada!

She, like Helena, was racking up dem combos. Killing enemies has become a chore for her. How heartbreaking.

"Yawn... I'm getting bored." Oh Ada, you haven't seen anything yet.

Suddenly, white text began to flash in front of Ada's eyes.

_I'm picking up strange readings here! Keep your eyes and ears open, you hear?!_

"Finally, someone new to play with..." Ada cried, smashing a firefighter J'avo into the wall.

Woooooo, a hidden boss! A Strelats has appeared!

"A Strelats... that's the boss? What a pity..."

_A Strelats is one of many J'avo mutations. It resembles a giant yellow fish. Its main attack is spitting out spores at you, which can knock you down if you get caught by them. _

Ada fired three arrows at it, but she unfortunately missed. "Shit, I have to hurry..." Hurry Ada! Your 70 combo depends on it! She ultimately decided to make a run for it and try to kill it with a grenade, which effectively stunned the Strelats.

"Now's my chance!" Ada shot an arrow directly into its head, killing it. 71 combo now! Yes! Ada Wong is a machine!

"Thanks," another J'avo down. "I try my best." No enemy could stand in Ada's path. There is no way she was being killed now.

2:00 left on the clock. 87 combo chain. Will Ada be able to make it to a 150 combo and be the first to obtain a perfect score?

Oh crap. Not a Whopper. Not just one Whopper, but two! Ada swiftly dodged the front Whopper's charge attack, but as soon as she returned to her feet the back Whopper grabbed her and Ada entered the dying state. She tried to fire an arrow at the Whopper's leg, but she missed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ladies and gentlemen, Ada Wong is dead. No, Actually Ada this time and not Carla.

**MISSION END**

**RESULT**

**ADA WONG ~ MINING THE DEPTHS**

**MEDALS**

Achieved a 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 and 80-hit combo

Found all Bonus Time Crystals

Found all Combo Time Crystals

Killed an enemy with a counterattack

Killed an enemy with a coup de grâce

Killed an enemy with a melee attack

Found the hidden boss of Mining the Depths

Killed the hidden boss in a combo chain

**SCORE: **143, 502

**RANK:** S

Ada, congratulations! An S rank, even though you died and failed and died and failed and died and you're no better than Leon and Helena and failed! YAY!

"Should I be happy or insulted?"

I don't really know, but yay S rank!

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**Yay! Ada got an S rank! Ada was the first character I played that I got an S rank with, so I thought I'd give her an S rank here as well. Speaking of Ada, she is still in the lead for my poll on my profile! See you in Chapter 4!**

**Fun fact: I wrote this in school using my RE6 guide as a reference. **

**Another fun fact: I'd love to learn Archery someday and get to use either a bow and arrow or a crossbow. **

**Please review! :)**


	4. Piers Nivans

**Hey guys! Chapter 4 already, huh? I wanted to answer another question that was sent to me: I am not only writing about characters from RE6, I will be writing about characters from every Resident Evil game. Anyway, enjoy!**

** Character** ➳ Piers Nivans

** Stage** ➳ Requiem for War

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Piers Nivans woke up alone in an abandoned city-like area. TO his immediate right was a large building that highly resembled a congressional office of some sort or City Hall. He neither understood nor knew where exactly he was, but he could sense that trouble was brewing. Suddenly, the infamous words popped in front of Piers to make him understand a little more.

_This is BSAA Echo Team! We have a chopper en route to your position now! You'll have to hold out against hostiles until we get there! You'll receive a special bonus by defeating multiple hostiles in a row!_

** MISSION START **

000/150

Score

0000000

"HELLO!?" Piers shouted as a timer began to tick down. By the way, hi Piers! I know you have no idea where you are, but kick the yellow hourglass things!

"Why?" HURRY THE HELL UP! J'AVO ARE COMING! Do you want to die thirty seconds into the mission? I don't think so! "Okay then! Wait, where's Captain? Why isn't he here with me?"

You know exactly where he is, Piers... *cough* Steroids *cough* Oh, excuse me! I think I'm getting a bit of a cold?

"AHHH DIE!" Piers shot a J'avo armed with a machine gun and successfully countered its sort of counter attack. "Woohoo! ...Is this all I do? Just keep killing random enemies for a set amount of time while picking up time and combo bonuses to increase my overall score and rank?"

Boy, he catches on fast. I50 to be exact, Piers! And be sure to get those time bonuses!

"Yeah, yeah... Geez, you sound like my mom!" What if I am? You never know who's on the other end of the line! Is the grass truly greener on the other side?

"Well, it's definitely full of J'avo!" Shooting a combo bonus, Piers quickly pulled out an incendiary and eliminated the incoming swarm of J'avo. Hello 15 combo. "Wooo! I'm on fire!"

If you stand too close to a red barrel, you will be Piers. Save them for the Whoppers.

"There's food here, too?! This is great!" No, but the Whoppers do seem like they eat. A lot. "Oh, I get ya, mysterious voice in my head whom I've never heard before!"

Aw. He has a nickname for me. How sweet of him/

Neither the Knife J'avo nor the mutated arm J'avo could stop Piers. He was on a combo streak that was going to be very difficult to break.

"Is that... a bird? AHH, get away from me! Shoo!" ...t it! Shoot it, Piers! Don't run away!

"WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH. This is harder than I thought!"One, you just started. Two, you're going to let a bird make you lose your entire 37 combo? ...And there it goes. Lovely. Way to go, Piers!

Will this boy ever learn... "I'M NOT LETTING YOU KILL ME, YOU FILTHY DEMON! SHOO!" It will go away if you just shoot it!

"Shoot it... But I can't shoot and run at the same time! AHH, MORE ARE COMING!" PIERS, YOU CAN WALK AND SHOOT. SHOOT IT BEFORE YOU DIE.

Before Piers could stop to shoot the annoying birds, a J'avo, morphed with a spring chicken, stabbed Piers in the shoulder. "OW, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

Seriously? They're trying to kill you. Didn't you realize that when you were in Europe with your 'Captain'?

"Pssh... more like my lover..." Huh? What did you say? "NOTHING, UM... die chicken die? WOAH!" The spring chicken J'avo stabbed Piers yet again. Not only were they slowly but surely draining Piers' health, but more were on their way.

"Crap! I'm out of herbs! Help me!" What am I supposed to do? I'm only a voice. "Where is ammo? There's no ammo! AND SINCE WHEN WAS THERE A TIME LIMIT?!" Piers, I thought you were smart. I thought you had a keen eye. Those thoughts are now out of the window, falling into a deep abyss, forever enclosed in darkness.

Bottom line: I don't help idiots. "Hey, stop! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

**YOU ARE DEAD **

**MISSION OVER**

**PIERS NIVANS ~ MEDALS**

Achieved a 20 and 30 hit combo

Defeated an enemy with a counterattack

Defeated an enemy with a coup de grâce

Defeated an enemy with a physical attack

**SCORE:** 24,940

**RANK:**E

"Huh? There were more of those time bonus things? Oh..."

"What is wrong with you, Piers?" Leon, you're one to talk.

By the way, I wonder what Captain *cough* your lover *cough* thinks of this?

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**Poor Piers! I kinda feel bad for him! Also, this is completely random, but I was playing The Mercenaries earlier and I died with a 141 combo. :( Anyway, Ada, Jill, Leon and Sherry are now all tied for the lead so get to voting in the poll on my profile and please review! Thanks! See you in Chapter 5! **


End file.
